How can parents simply abandon a child?

A frame from last week's video on beautiful Fei Fei and her heroic foster mother.

How can parents simply abandon a child?

Last week I shared a video clip with you about beautiful Fei Fei and her heroic foster mother.   During the video Fei Fei's mother said: "When I saw the shape this child was in I felt for her. I thought: how can parents simply abandon a child in so much need? There was no choice but to take care of this child; I just felt so much for her."  It's a moving interview and yet the question is one that I am often asked as I talk about Christian Action's work : Why are children abandoned?

Some time ago a friend recounted a conversation she had with her taxi driver in China. The driver asked : "Why would you even keep a child who is disabled? They can't support their parents, they have no contribution to society."  When that is the mindset, then it's easy to see why someone wouldn't keep a child with a disability.

With Mrs Wang and Jun Jun six months ago in happier times.

You will often find me singing the praises of parents who don't abandon their disabled child. This is because it often means they are severely criticized and ostracized by their relatives. They are told, "You are foolish because there will be nobody to take care of you when you are older - and you would have put all your money into this child". Ordinarily parents would pour their money into the education and upbringing of able-bodied children so that they would have good jobs and support the parents in their old age.

When I see parents coming to our Children's Rehabilitation Center with disabled children I am in awe of them and the yoke they have taken upon their shoulders. They are taking time off from what is usually low paying work; paying for public transport back and forth; paying for their child to get therapy; to go to school and to receive Special Education. Parents work shorter or later hours in order to bring their child to our Center and collect them. All this may be in addition to care of their own frail elderly parents. Often the mother has to stay home. Many times there is also a divorce. The father doesn't stick around because there seems to be no future in the situation. So we see single parents trying to raise their disabled child.

As I write this I am thinking particularly of Mrs Wang and her daughter Jun Jun and what they are going through. Mrs Wang is a single mother and although she was coping well when I wrote about her last year, Jun Jun is now suffering from constant epileptic fits. Doctors  can't seem to find a solution and they hold out little hope for her. She is in hospital but even that presents challenges : how does a  single mother who earns 800 RMB per month pay a 300RMB per day hospital bill?

Keeping a  disabled child requires a huge amount of energy and inner strength. These parents are dedicated to seeing their child, who nobody else values, get an education, and I deeply admire and respect them. The wonderful thing is that since October 2007, when we began operating Qinghai's first (and only) Children's Rehabilitation Center, we are seeing more and more parents who have made the difficult decision to keep their disabled child. This represents the beginnings of an incredible societal change and it is our privilege to support it.

Please join with me in praying for Mrs. Wang, Jun Jun and all the other families we are helping. Please consider how you might support this ministry!

Thank you and God bless you!

Siew Mei.

Comments

[Fook Yee]

I am impressed by your passion and sensitivity in serving the abandoned children. This is not an easy job. May God give you sufficient power and patience to sustain the project.

[Siew Mei]

Thank you so much for your encouragement. It is a blessed job as I get to be God's partner in serving "the least of these" while I am here on earth. When I look at these suffering children, my heart is filled with the compassion of Christ which gives me the strength to lead a team and raise enough funds for the work to be done.

The challenge is great and constant but the reward of seeing children get well, adopted or loved before they go to heaven is great! I recommend this to everyone!!!!