The Burden of Love

On October 13th 2023, our Lo Kwee Seong On Tai Service Centre screened the heart touching Japanese movie "CareNin – Thank God You Are Here," to assist our service users at On Tai Estate to better understand how to take care of their elderly or mentally ill family members. This film received high praise from Japan's Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare. It is the true story of a young caregiver who learned how to handle the pressure and stress of taking care of an elderly dementia patient. The movie night drew 70 participants; among them were housewives, teenagers, young elders and parents with their children.

At On Tai Estate, many residents are beginning to face the situation of increasing age, yet they find themselves needing to take care of more senior family members at home. Some of them can also encounter the possibility, that their family members may be suffering from dementia. Therefore, we hope to use this movie night to enhance everyone’s understanding of dementia and, at the same time help them to learn how to care for caregivers.

In September, two middle-aged brothers with mental disabilities were discovered dead at home, because their 75-year-old mother had been admitted to the hospital and they had no one to care for them. This devastating news shocked Hong Kong society. I am appealing to all home caregivers: ask for help if the mental and physical strain becomes intolerable; there are a lot of resources available from the government.

Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened." NIV

The following two feedbacks may help you to understand how to take care of relatives with dementia symptoms.

From a teenager: "In the movie, an elderly man with dementia refused to eat and would sit still motionless all day. Then, the care home's manager approached him and requested assistance with fixing the fence. As if a key had suddenly turned, the uncle got to his feet and contentedly began mending the fence. The elderly man had previously worked as a carpenter, the manager later disclosed. Asking him to resume his carpentry work brought back pleasant memories for him, in this movie, I learned about the impact of past bodily experiences on mental health.

From a family caregiver: “I found the content of the film very touching and real. Many times we use our own judgment and do things out of our own good mentality. But the movie taught me that caring is not just to help her survive, but to allow her to truly live with dignity, even for a short time. The movie also talked about the importance of caring for elderly residents living alone in the community; we need to pay more attention to their needs.

God bless you,
Siew Mei